Archive for October, 2009

Am I healthy enough?

An interesting question was raised by John Barban over here.  One I’ve been pondering a lot in the last year or so. I’ve weighed the same, within about a 5 lb range, for the last 2 years. Prior to that I lost a little over 100 lbs.

I’ve spent a good part of these last two years feeling dissatisfied. Irritated with an unfinished project. Unhappy that these last 20 lbs or so refuse to leave. Disgruntled with the extra skin, certain areas that are still flabby, etc.

See, because I had an idea of what I thought healthy was, which entailed a certain number on a scale and a certain jeans size.

Spending two years dissatisfied is not necessarily a healthy state of mind either.

Am I healthy?

I’m outside ideal weight and BMI ranges. However, my general shape is nice and I fit in what they say is the “average” size for an American female.  My numbers are stellar and have been for 2.5 years or so. Cholesterol went down, low BP, etc.  My doc said I’m the poster child for getting healthy the right way, after years of trying to get me to take statin drugs.  I eat to fuel my body with healthy, whole food and exercise regularly.  I’ve turned around many negative health behaviors.

My husband and I recently got a quote for life insurance. After they did the physical/blood work stuff, my insurance guy (he’s a young thing, probably thought my 40 y/o self and hubby were on a downhill slide away from healthy) called me back and said, “You guys are really healthy, aren’t you?”

“We try,” I said.

He informed me that our rates were going to be a healthy amount lower than his actuarial tables had told him to quote us, based on the results of the medical workup.

How often does that happen?

I have no idea, but I felt I must be doing something right.

So here’s what I’m left trying to figure out:

  1. How to remember to be grateful for how healthy I am.
  2. How to accept the physical shape I have.
  3. How to lose the last 20 lbs.
  4. Whether or not that’s an attainable goal.

I trust that I will if I keep my intent on being mindful and continue to do what feels right for me.

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What if I don’t have it all figured out?

I’ve felt compelled to start coaching as a career for some time. I’ve coached people without ever being “hired” for much of my life.

Part of what’s holding me back is this idea that I don’t know enough. People who come and talk to me don’t assume that.  Somehow I’ve assumed that if I want someone to pay me for this service, I’ve got to have a specific set of letters behind my name, or more importantly,  my life must be completely figured out.

Not very realistic, is it?  It’s funny how we impose limits and controls on ourselves we would never lay on another person we cared about.

I recently read Brooke’s “Un-Guru” post and noticed my head nodding. I was reading this on the heels of listening to something from a “guru builder” guy. While I listened to him I just knew that something felt off inside of me, even though he was full of charisma and energy and excitement about his system.

I realized I don’t buy into this stuff. It feels a little too hyped. Do I want to attract the kind of people to my practice who DO buy into hype?  Are my ideal clients people who are looking for an expert or guru who absolutely knows the way to fix a problem?  Do I want to bill myself as that person?

I’m not so sure there is any one size fits all guru or expert for any of life’s challenges.  I certainly delved into a lot of resources to get where I am today.

I appreciate the validation I found in Brooke’s blog post.  I’ve known down deep that there is a lot that I have figured out. I have a lot to share even though there is still work I want to do in my own evolution.  I was struggling with the concept of calling myself an expert, because that seems to have a certain set of expectations riding along with it.

However, I’ve begun to realize that expertise can be defined in a number of ways.  As I wrote over here, I have had an interesting life experience set, which has taught me many things.

So, I don’t have it all figured out. I probably never will.  There is always more to learn.  What I do know is I’m in the middle of a fulfilling life, when once I didn’t believe that could ever be possible.  I’ve realized dreams that once seemed wildly impossible.

I also know that I feel deeply that this is possible for everyone.  I believe in the power of co-creation within a supportive coaching relationship.  I trust that each of us has an inner-expert who knows what we need most, if we can learn to listen.  I want to share what I’ve learned and inspire others to create the life of their wildest dreams.

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Blog Action Day 2009

I learned late in the day about this project and thought I would put up a quick post since today was also our monthly meeting for the recycling committee in our community.  I sit on this committee as co-chair.

The ultimate goal of this committee is to create a program for curbside recycling in the community.  This town of  roughly 15,000 people has only voluntary recycling if residents are willing to sort their items and haul them to a local recycling center which is open certain days of the week.

We are fighting a slightly uphill battle to get this project going with city government support. It’s an interesting challenge.  For me it’s a great learning experience since I’ve never participated in something like this.

I look forward to the day when we can create a smaller footprint for the entire town.

Any tips, stories or information that would be useful to this kind of project would be readily welcomed.

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“Zen does not confuse spirituality with thinking about God while peeling potatoes. Zen spirituality is just to peel the potatoes.~~Alan Watts

I had saved this quote some place many months ago so I wouldn’t forget to come back and reflect on it more.  Then I went back to happily juggling my way through life…and forgot about it.

Multitasking to the nine’s is not always good for me and is such an ingrained habit that I don’t even notice the drain on my energy most times. Sometimes I will be rolling along  in enough projects that I finally notice that I’m feeling increasing anxiety, but will still continue until I’m finished…or run out of time because I had too many things going on at once.

Now that I’ve started working on learning about building a blog, a business, a new way to follow my passion, this habit is really not serving me well.  There is so much information to explore.  I often find myself scattered and juggling many ideas, projects, books, tasks.

I get excited reading material from people like Leo Babauta.  I’m inspired to become more productive and live more simply in awareness.  Then I get engrossed in the material and find myself linking and reading and soon I’m spiraling into unproductive behavior again.

My first attempt at harnessing this energy was a list.  A big list of things I keep forgetting I mean to get done.  Then daily I’ve written a little list of things to get done in that day.  Some of them directly from the big list and some smaller tasks that will get me closer to done on big list items.  Some of them are things I need to remind myself to do before I fritter away my time, like working out or running an errand.

This has been marginally effective at focusing my attention.  My added tactic this week is to schedule things into a calendar that will remind me I intended to get them done.  These are not from my little lists, but recurring “homework” tasks.  I had several e-books downloaded (procured from all the willy-nilly linking and reading) that I never actually have read.  I have now scheduled time to work on them each day.  I’ve made those appointments with myself have a start AND end time, so that I remember to  check back in with my list and get moving on the next thing.

Just that one thing.

Until it’s done.

Life is in the learning. I think there may be magic I will discover when I get better at appreciating each task, each moment for its own worth instead of devaluing all by mixing them up with each other.  I’m not able to fully appreciate my true potential, or others’, while I’m scattering my attention randomly.

I’m pretty sure I’ll get more done, too.


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