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Posts Tagged ‘anger’

Unrippled

I often find in theory I really dig the idea of not getting stuck on ego stuff.  It sounds like such a great idea when I read people like Eckhart Tolle, Dr. Wayne Dyer, you know the stuff.
 
Then, in the moment, it somehow seems impossible to practice.
 
But tonight, somehow it was all different.  The initial stimulus is not important, but simply put, I found myself angry.  I noticed the physical symptoms; a flush to the face, shallow breathing.  The story started rolling in my head; how I’d retort if I were going to retort, which was not going to happen because I would be in the same room with the person for another length of time.  That, and the fact that I didn’t want to spend my energy that way.  In recent history, I would have continued to sit and rehash this deal in my head, which certainly wouldn’t have made me feel any better.  But something switched.
 
I remembered those things I’ve read.  I took a deep breath and left the room for a bit and breathed some more.  I reminded myself of what is truly MY business and how I choose to conduct myself.  That’s all I’ve got to control, right?
 
I experienced the sweet feeling of mastery of self.  I was not a victim of the whims and writhings of my intellect.  The struggle left me and I was able to change my energy.  I let go of that which was not serving me and continued on my way.  I took away lessons about how I want to spend my energy with this particular person.  I learned that my abilities are growing.
 
Prior to this, I was pretty sure mastery of this skill was still a long way coming on my road of personal development.  Tonight I got a glimmer.  This is within my reach.
 
I’m closer to figuring this one out.

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