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I find myself in struggle mode with food lately.

I don’t like the word struggle. I like to think that I usually observe whatever’s going on and accept that it IS, and move forward with how I’d like the next moment to be.

With this old and deep seated rut of food, it’s just not that easy. Sometimes I feel like I’ve just jumped back in it and can’t get my wheels to pop out.

I sit and wonder if it’s the season, the weather, the time of the month. I try to make sure I’m not falling back into “It’s you, stupid. See I told you so.” That pretty much stays away. But I can get rather panicky and then start casting about for rigid solutions to the food thing.

I’m not sure if that’s the right thing to do. But I know it’s worked before.

OK, panicky is probably never a good solution.

So that’s one of the things I’m up to. Figuring out what to do with my current food thing, which is my always food thing. It’s sometimes harder, sometimes easier. Sometimes it effortless; feeding my spirit while I feed my body with beautiful food that makes me feel great.

Just writing this actually makes it feel not quite so big.  This is part of who I am.  It’s part of my history, it’s taught me many things.  I’m happy to have accomplished the radically improved health that I enjoy now.

I’m sure I’ll get to the bottom of this current struggle.  There’s always something to be gleaned.

How are you doing with the food thing this holiday season?

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